Shrinking the Bone

NEWS FLASH The E-Bone is on a diet. Now I am watching my food intake since the new year and I have cut back on the beer. Actually no beer in 2007 yet. That is an impressive 18 days. Either that is a good thing or a sad thing because I am counting the days. Regardless, I am still working towards a thinner new me. I am not, however, starving myself like the E-Bone. He has joined one of those SkinniFatz diet plans where you buy the food from them and eat only their food. It sounds all great in the commercials. They get celebrities that look good and parade them around with their little meals. Nice. Today I saw reality. The E-Bone opened up breakfast. This mockery of a bowl of cereal barely covered the bottom of the bowl. I think we counted 24 actual flakes of generic goodness. And a bonus blueberry. He was able to top that off with a couple ounces of skim milk. MMMMMMMM. Can't wait until lunch. I also learned how he has managed to stay on this starvation diet for over a week. He eats 10-15 of these meals a day. They shipped him three weeks of food and he has eaten it all and the box that it came in, in 6 days. It looks like he is making progress though. He actually wore corduroys today without starting a fire. That is a start.

Now as many of you know, E-Bones oldest friend is the Quad who can be read over on the Quad blog. He talks of his massive manliness and his great body. Well he made the mistake of posting a picture of him, E-Bone and a couple other old donkeys. It turns out that he is just an older, fatter version of the E-Bone. I am glad that he is just like the rest of us. ROLL TIDE.


Lumpy had child birth class over the weekend. He got kicked out for making fun of the birthing video. Just think, this man will soon have an offspring to corrupt. Life is not fair sometimes. The Lumpster was rebuffed however in his attempt to purchase an RV. Mrs. Lumpy used common sense to battle the Lumpster's need for spending. The purchase has been tabled for a year. Good luck Lumpy.

I was just asked the other day, Jiggy why are you so handsome. OK. Not really. I was asked what the younger children do while my wonderful wife attempts to homeschool the older children. As chance would have it, wonderful wife informed me that night exactly what one such monster had done. Turns out he was using his creative skills, first destroying all Lego creations created and displayed by his older sibling and then turning artistic by coloring all over his bedroom door. I think the electronic babysitter (tv) needs more appearances in the Jiggy home. Like crack for kids, it always settles them down.

I played poker over the weekend. When I say I played poker, I mean I spent 6 hours looking at poker hands and smelling the vile broccoli laden emissions from Nosaj all to pocket three bucks more than I arrived with. Hardly a good deal.