NSFW

I saw that heading on a link the other day and it took me a few minutes to figure out what it was. NSFW. Not Safe For Work. I guess they don't work at my job. I mean it is ok to look at naughty stuff as long as you don't interrupt the field goal kicking contest. I guess you had to be there. I was and I finished in 2nd or 3rd. Two important things came out of it. Numero uno is that we have now found a sport that the Sandwich Artist has at least SOME skill in, and numero two, the Shweet is still in search of that sport. Now to his credit, I have heard on numerous occasions (once) that he is a great frisbee golfer or footballer or something. We will have to research that one.

So now here are the NSFW stories.

Some of you might not really relate to this story because either you are not Catholic or you don't go to church. Relax, it doesn't really matter if you get it or not, you are going to Hell anyways. So the clan is going to confession on a recent Saturday evening and there is a HUGE line waiting to be forgiven. So I take the youngest monsters and hit the playground whilst the wife waits. As the clock ticks away, I see a priest roll up to the church and make a mad dash for the building. I guess he was the second one and the reason the line is so long. So it is getting chilly outside and I am rounding up the little ones to head to the car. The wife has been inside for 20 minutes. I round the corner and the priest is coming back outside with my family in tow. Seems the line was still too long since he showed up like 30 minutes late, so he is just going to do confessions in the parking lot. This is a little unorthodox but it is ok. At least we didn't come up here for nothing. But then the bad part happens. He finishes up with the family and looks at me. So I march up there to spill my guts face to face. No curtain. No shield. Mano y mano. This, again, wouldn't be toooo bad but ole Jiggy had to admit to treating his body like an amusement park. So that was kind of awkward but I eased on through it.

Second story is a little less horrifying for me. The wife didn't find the humor, however. We were out shopping. Imagine my wife shopping. Doesn't happen often, does it? Right. So were at Target and she wanders off, leaving me with the baby and a surprisingly empty cart. I happen by the condom row. Well as you can tell from my large family, we don't buy too many of these things. So I grab the ones that say Magnum EXTRA LARGE condoms and put it in the cart and start pushing it around. I got many smiles from the ladies until my particular lady caught up with me and threw them back on a shelf. A man can dream.

Well it is getting late. I talked to Lumpy and have some good stories but they will have to wait until tomorrow.