Diet Update

The phone has been burning up since the last post was published. It seems that Lumpy, too, has joined the death diet craze. He will be, of course, be saving a buck or two by going with a not-so-famous off-brand diet. That is why we call him Eva-Save-Alot. He informed us that a co-worker is on this diet and has dropped 20 lbs. He failed to mentioned that beefy was pushing 450 lbs and that he could have dropped 20 lbs my skipping the third course at Heffy's Heffdog Burger Joint and having a normal bowel movement.

The key, says Lumpy and his massive friend, is to SUPPLEMENT. You must supplement the small servings they provide you with your own food, like say maybe lunch. Lumpy, it is not really a salad if you substitute pepperoni and sausage Domino's for fat free vinaigrette.

Onto more important things. Concern has been raised for the E-Bone. It is wondered if his massive frame is somehow diminished by diet, what will he do to support his enormous cranium. His dome looks large on a 250 lb frame. Imagine that rock on a 200 lb shadow of a man. It does not bode well.

Donations are being accepted for Southern Girl. She has moved to the South and she hasn't any friends. She has resorted to digging through trash and trespassing to steal people's animals. Check out her blog here. It will make you feel bad for not getting more involved with nature and stuff. Or something like that.

Also forgot to give big props to the brother-in-law. He brought a purchase of mine home to me in his truck. The only problem is he dropped a box or two off the back of the truck on the way. Don't go getting all upset. He went and retrieved them. They were all busted up but it is the thought that counts. That and bungee cords. Word of the day, Bungee Cords.