Upper Decker

Now I have not known about the term Upper Decker for too long. But it is a great concept. Basically you violate someone's bathroom by dropping a deuce in the upper bowl. It sits there for a while and then when that person flushes, they get the surprise.

Just a little background for today's journey. We had dental appointments and then ear check ups on the little kids. An all around fun day. So the dental portion went swimmingly and we made good time to the ear, nose and throat dude. That is where time stood still. I sat in the truck with a bunch of kids while the baby slept. The wife took the two ear victims into the lobby. There they sat for an hour. An hour I kid you not. I was starting to get REAL bitter. So I come in the lobby and drop a couple F bombs like a good white trash father is want to do. Finally they are seen and I take the rest of the herd outside to wait. Then the wife calls and informs me that one of the patients crapped up a Zeppelin. So here is the tie-in. I cleaned up the evil feces laden diaper and sent the little man back to the ear doc. Well I have got to clean my hands and dispose of the death drawers. The bathroom is locked. The camel that broke the straw or however the hell that goes. I politely placed the toxic diaper in a bush in the lobby and used some antibacterial hand cleaner in the car. Who needs their bathrooms? Not me. So while I was not able to properly leave an Upper Decker for them, I left a little lasting impression on whoever sits near that thing.

On to nicer topics. OK, not that much nicer. This is the week. The week junior and his nasty, filthy habit of crapping in his pants is over. He is getting potty trained. I will be at work for the first couple of days so I hope it happens quick. He is a mean little cuss and I don't see this as being an easy task. On top of this the next oldest gave up the pacifier yesterday. We made a big presentation about giving it to a poor kid and we left it at the base of a statue at church. She was so proud and big. Then night hit and all the demons in hell were released from her. She was kicking and screaming, jumping on her bed, yelling, hollering, heck I think at least once her head went all the way round. It was freaky. She wanted to beat down the little poor girl that had her pacy now. She wanted revenge. She vowed her love to her pacy. She cursed my family and my wife's family. Her eyes turned a shade of red that made my skin crawl. But finally she was subdued by the poison that gets all mankind, a good bribe. Candy under the pillow for the morning and a personal ice cream adventure with only her and mommy, and of course a present from the toy store. I had all my older kids asking if they could have a pacy. The perks seemed good. Night too is just moments away. Wish me luck.