Chips and Marinara Sauce??

First of all, let me start out with some BREAKING NEWS. Despite being behind my like 1000 points, I have taken the lead in the two week playoff against the Ebone. I tell you this now because his big hound LT is playing in about half an hour and then I will again be on the ass end side of the score. But for right now, I am whooping that ass.

OK. Back to business. Today was grocery day. We were down to about $10,000 worth of food in the pantry and freezer so we needed more. Our first stop took us to Costco. I let the wife go in while I watched some of the brood in the car. We managed to get out of there for under a couple hunskies so I was relieved. Then on to the Superdeduper Walmart. We shelled out a few more hunskies for a couple of carts full of food. That really isn't the story. It took her and I and our eight hundred kids less than an hour to fill the carts and it took me another 45 minutes to check out of the darn store. Now I know I have complained about the evil Walmart and their checkout lines before but this is a little different.

I am not a very smart man but I know a couple of things. And granted I have never seen Ebones exploits in the heart of South East Asia, thank goodness, but I have seen many things in this world. So WM Betty puts my chips in the same bag as two jars of marinara sauce, letting them clank and clang and bust up my chips. Now this didn't bother me nearly as much as it would have, had these chips been for me. That being said, why would she do this? Maybe she wanted to conserve on bags? No. She put a box of oatmeal all by its lonesome. Maybe she was using some different bagging scheme she learned at Harvard. Now I know she spent top dollar on an education because she must have used all her dental money on schooling. Let's just say she had some Chicklets askew. It looked like a yard sale jigsaw puzzle in there, there were so many pieces missing. So some of the chips survived to get slammed around by my unloaders at home. These unloaders only use the bathroom once a week. That is at exactly the same time as I need them to take the groceries into the house. Odd isn't it?


I broke down and bought a hockey toy online over the weekend. I have been trying to purchase this doll at all the local Toys R Evil stores but with no luck. So I paid double the 10 bones it lists for and made it mine. I feel like the Sandwich Artist paying a couple extra hundred for his Wii and his Xbox 360. No, not that bad.