Relaxing Weekend

It is early Saturday morning. The kids are rising and the chaos of another day will soon begin. Let me try to catch you all up on the goings on before they burn the house down.

We can start with the tennis. We are down to the final four. E-bone is my next opponent with the winner gaining a date with Mini Les. And then on to Neckbone in the final. It would be disappointing if I never get to play Neckbone in this tourney. But I have my work cut out for me.

Lumpy got out of town at the right time. I just can't see his lumbering ass running around the tennis courts. He has actually lost weight. He went to another nut case out in St. Louis. How he finds these freaks, I do not know. This one probably tops them all. It was in a house, not a doctor's office and he let this woman jam a hose up his ass to cleanse his colon. He paid $160 for three treatments of these tomfoolery. Then when she jams gallons of water up his hind, he runs to the bathroom and unleashes holy hell in the next room. Talk about two people with NO shame. Him for releasing the hounds and her for sitting there wafting in the aroma. Brings chills to the body just imagining it. One way or another, fatty dropped 8 pounds in a weekend due to this. More cheeseburgers and brats are needed before he fades away to nothingness.

Surprisingly the kids haven't done too much to warrant a post here lately. School has started and the they are busy so not too much time to destroy my home and everything I own.

The Oracle seems to like his new job. He still surfs the web but just from a new building. Same web, different spot. Neckbone had his last day and Mini Lumpy is almost out the door too. Somehow we still manage to stay afloat. And on a sad note, Ebone has failed his truth test for the third time. I mean, how many times do you have to go to realize you cannot tell the truth. This latest debacle involved him lying about hurting friends and family. You know, stealing from your buddies when you spend the night at their house. Leaving the family for weeks at a time to supposedly hunt or golf knowing full well you were on some bender with some crack ho. Did we learn nothing from Neckbone. If you can't tell the truth, run and hide at a different job until they come looking for you there too. Stick and move, man, stick and move.