If you are Catholic, then you probably know it is the Season of Lent. If you are not Catholic then you are probably not reading this because you are too busy killing goats in the backyard. For the rest of us, Lent is a time of sacrifice. Each person chooses something to give up as a small token to our Lord for the sacrifices he made for us. You know, the whole cross thing and the forgiving of sins and letting us into heaven things. So my family decided to give up dining out for the 40 days as our sacrifice. So imagine my shock upon completion of my brown bag turkey sandwiches as I phone the wife to see what she and my brood of children have eaten for lunch. Chik-Fil-a. Wow. She stayed strong for almost two days. So being the caring husband I am, I show compassion and understanding. I explain, it is not that big of a deal, I mean he wasn't up on the cross that long anyways was he? And, darn, how hot could it really be down there? Seriously, she has been to Florida in August, Hell can't be much warmer than that, now can it?
Of course, as usual, I ended up eating my words. Not as tasty as a Number #5 from Chik-Fil-a would have been, I bet. But she is upset and explains how the infraction on day two happened. She was taken said brood to Sears so my darling 4 year old daughter can get her 4 year pictures taken. We wouldn't want anyone to forget how she looked between 3 year old pictures and 5 year old pictures. Feel free to use the PayPal button on the Superjiggye.com page to donate to the picture fund. Anyhow, they arrive at Sears and are greeted by, let us call her, Big Betty. Now my 4 year old and Big Betty met once before during a Christmas picture session. BB as I will call her is a tad bit overweight and (how do I say this politely) a bit musty. Now you know kids do and say the darnedest things. So little miss say-what-i-think held her nose and said the picture lady stinks during the Christmas picture fest. Well we side stepped that one with a little, daddy-had-gas white lie.
Let us just say that dear wife did not get off that easy today. At first site of BB, 4 year old starts screaming and holding her nose. Wifey tries to intervene and calm the situation, offering whatever will calm the actions and the mouth of the 4 year old. Enter Chik-Fil-a. After promises of lollipops and candy for the silence and 30 minutes of picture taking, 4 year old takes it to the next level. BUT MOM, SHE STINKS AND SHE IS SOOOOOOOO BIG. Ok, now that is a whole nother level. That is like, Emeril and his BAM nother level. Needless to say, the bribe stood at silence for chicken. And that is how the sacrifice was unsacrificed. So I sort of understand it. My only question now is who am I gonna be shacked up with in Heaven while I am dropping ice water down to my old lady??
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So, once a Catholic goes off the Lent-wagon, do you just consider it an Oops and get back on again? Avoiding all dining out and fast foods? Or do you just say, "Well, that's it 'till next year!" Nope, I'm not Catholic, that's why I had to ask. And, that was a chicken (not a goat) I was sacrificing in my back yard under the full moon while dancing in only my socks...get it right! (My neighbors have high-dollar binoculars)
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