I have been a little to busy to blog lately, but I didn't want to just leave you in limbo like our friend the Quad. He seems to think we will still come back for more taudry Ebone stories after a month or two of nothing. Of course we will, we love gossip on the Ebone.
I have learned several things in the last couple days. The most important of all these things is that no matter how much you think your wife loves you, she will love a good epidural much more than you. So much that you might think that she wants to run off and marry the chick stabbing her in the back with a foot long needle and warning of possible little tiny side effects like numbness in your whole body forever, splitting headaches for weeks, and the desire to kill your husband with your bare hands for doing this to you in the the first place.
Having a baby in the middle of the night will teach you a couple other things like, the doctor that has known your wife since she was sixteen and is always joking at the office and is the nicest guy in the world, still gets all grumpy when called in the dead of the night. And Taco Bell being open at 3:30 in the morning combined with a couple Coronas is a great midnite snack. And about the whole giving up eating out for Lent? God understands. And he understands KFC and McDonalds for lunch today too. Only so much a man can do. Either I give up something for Lent and stick with it or I go forth and multiply. I chose the multiply. And let me tell you, if I end up burning for a little slippage, let me just say this. STEAK SOFT TACO. It is only a little heat anyways.
Since I am out of the office for a few days helping my wife get back on her feet and back in that kitchen making my meals, I want to tell the office mates that after further consideration, I decided that participating in the office March Madness pool is not a good decision for me this year. I will not partake. Thanks for the invite. Catch me next year.
Lastly, I will finish with a big congratulations to the George Mason Patriots. They went in with a chip on their shoulders and smacked that ass. They had a single winning mentality. There was nothing that was going to stand in thier way. It reminded me of Lumpy going for a deal. If he can save a buck or two, he is all over it. Or like Sandwich Artist and his cheesy ass Nintendo belt. Dude, you are not a superstar. It is a video game and you still ain't getting laid. Two cats and some peanut butter ain't the real deal.
1 comment:
First let me congratulate you on the wonderful gift you have received. I'll bet she is beautiful and will provide you with many sleepless nights over the next 18 years. Staying up late fighting off all the young JiggyEs trying to charm her away from Daddy. You remember the scam.
"Yes Mr Jiggy, we are only going to a movie then straight home. She will be home by 10:30. Sucker" Find a nice convent right now and save her from the Jiggys.
I do understand about the whole Taco Bell and Corona thing. You know it's only been 9 months for the baby, and Lent is something new we started in the church. Would it have killed you to have prepared a couple PBJ sandwiches for the big day? I guess the Big J will have to get his love later. Maybe now we will find out who the bigger Jiggy is, J or E. The battle of good vs evil? Let the rumble begin.
Post a Comment