Ebone and the Fish

Now everyone knows somebody that knows somebody that has told a gigantic fish story. The kind of story you know is a lie but you listen anyways. The kind of story that gets bigger and bigger and less likely all the time. As years go by, the fish is bigger, the battle was longer, the taste better. Today I bring you my fish story as told to me by the Ebone.

Mr. Ebone went to the Outer Banks for a little R and R over the Thanksgiving weekend. Some people save all year for ONE vacation but not the Bone. He takes leave from work and parades all across the nation at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately he took the entire family so there was not that much resting or relaxing. On one particularly odd day, odd because Ebone was sober before noon, he found himself on the beach and fully clothed. From his retelling of the tale, the fish was so fearful of the battle he would have with E that it threw itself on shore to prevent the impending pain. Supposedly this monster of a fish weighed in at over 50 lbs or the size of a Lumpy midnite snack.

Quick side bar. Mr. Lumpy has been awful quiet this past month. Me thinks that something tawdry happened on his visit back East and he is still too ashamed to speak of it. I don't know what could be that bad that he won't call us. Lumpy show us some love, just not love handles.


Back to the great fish caper. So this 50 lb striper jumps up on shore to be eaten by the Bone and his friends. I am sure in his heart, that damn fish didn't want to be baked and served with some instant rice and THEN microwaved at work, a place with no ventilation, for all of us to smell. I know this, deep down, I know this.

Onto other news. I have it on good intel that Neckbone has been sited and is again picking the scraps of The Oracles career. The Oracle has now given Neckbone some life and a new job. I can only hope this frees up a little Neck time for the tennis championship he has been avoiding. Then again, I hoped that Sandwich Artist might have at least had some tennis skills on the new Nintendo Wii. But obviously the Wii is too real and lifelike and his real tennis prowess shown through.