Hipsters and Egyptians

Monday is always a good day at work. You get to chat with all the other smucks that have lives as miserable as yours and find out what they did over the weekend. Most times it is stuff similar to the lame events in your own life, but sometimes you get the goods.
Like just this weekend Sandwich Artist broke his 'sane female population imposed' sex strike. He supposedly (and I don't mean supposedly in a bad way) got some this weekend. All of a sudden he has gone from a zero to a liar, I mean a hero. And get this, he has victim number two already lined up. Where have these women been hiding for the last 11 months and 7 days? The home for criminally insane? Ah. Best of Luck Sandwich.
We also learned more about Bird Flu Man. Just when we thought we had dealt with all the nightmares learning about his past had caused us, he brings us more. Over the weekend, he traveled out west to join a cult. Or pay his cult membership, or some crazy crap like that. Who knows, he could have been out there torturing moose. I need my sleep, I cannot know any more than I already do. He also has a money making pyramid scheme he wants me to link to from SuperJiggyE.com. I am not too keen on linking to pyramids. I mean, the only pyramid I want to be associated with housed King Tut for a couple thousand years. He is a good friend, loony as bat shit, but a good friend, so I will probably link to it, but damn man, selling hugs online just don't make sense to me.
Captain Neck got a speeding ticket over the weekend. Not too outrageous news except for the fact that he was driving without pants again. Still not too outrageous I suppose except that he had a car full of people with him. Again, I could live with this if he hadn't just picked up the old people that were waiting for the bus after church. Those damn old people will get in anybody's car if it stops at the curb in front of church.
Another thing with church. Easter is a great time of the year. Except for these people that come to church once a year and make the place all crowded for us that are going to heaven. I mean, seriously, do you think you can cruise in to JC's house once a year and get a ticket to salvation? Sorry dude, you should have slept in yesterday. You are still gonna burn.