Rolling in the Dough

It finally happened. My wife got a job. Of course I will soon be rich. I might even be able to afford my monthly bills AND eat. I won't forget about all the little people when I am disgustingly rich. I have already forgotten about you. So this is a little story of the wifey and her first day back on the street.

She decides she spends so much of my money at one particular children's clothing store that she should get a job there to get an employee discount so that she can, no doubt, spend more of my money there. Last night was the first day of income. Or as it has been referred to at home up until now as 'The day hell freezes over'. She is on the schedule for four hours, six to ten. I tell her to call me after work so that I know she is on her way home. Meanwhile, I clean up the dinner mess, the dinner that I cooked. I entertain the children. I take care of yard work. I take the trash to the curb. I bathe the kids. I get the kids to bed. I finally get downstairs to watch my man Rock on Hells Kitchen. The phone rings at 9:45. Here is our conversation.


Me - Hello bread earner.

Her - Hi.

Me - Why are you off early? You are cutting in to my profit. (Me being silly and joking her about being off at 9:45 instead of 10:00.

Her - Oh. I got off at 8:15.

Me - WHAT?

Her - Yep. They let me off early.

Me - WHAT?

Her - Yep. My sister met me up here and we went to Starbucks and then back to the store to do some shopping.

Me - So let me get this straight. You worked TWO HOURS? Then bought a drink that probably negated 1/2 of an hour. THEN you went back into the store and spent over a hundred bucks? Am I getting this right?

Her - Basically.

Me - OK.

Her - OK. I am going to Walmart to get some groceries. See you in a couple hours.



Such is my life.