Ye Olde Towne

So much to tell from the last couple days. I sit here this morning in the beautiful city of Williamsburg. I brought the family down for two days of historical learning and adventure. And the resounding sentiment of their day yesterday was that the hotel's indoor pool was the highlight of their day. I could have taken them to BFE as long as they had a pool. Who knew?

I must give a big shout out to the Brockman who hooked me with this palatial pad I am in down here. It is a suite so big, I almost forgot I have a dozen rug rats. Thanks Bman. And so far no one has used the wall paper as toilet paper or yakked on the floor. But it is only 7am and we don't check out until 10. Wish me luck.

I might have mentioned before that people are drawn to my wife. This can be good or bad depending on who is drawn. Sometimes like yesterday, I run in the opposite direction. Somehow the kids talked me into forgoing the 20-30 minute walk to historic Williamsburg from the visitors center to instead take the shuttle. Did I mention
it was home educator week down here. Now I might not be the sanest dude in the world, but some of these people are, for lack of a better word, freaks. So this particular freak had some sort of stroller that wouldn't collapse enough for the shuttle ride. Again, why am I not walking and tiring my kids out? So this delays the ride. Then of course she has a baby, and we have a baby so that automatically gets this
loon chatting up my old lady. I, of course, being the social butterfly, hid behind my folded up stroller until the 10 minute ordeal ended.

I had my heart set on Captain Georges all-you-can-jam-in-your-fat-mouths-and-feel-sick-later restaurant but
we had starved the kids all day and the hotel was way out of the way, so we just ordered Italian delivered to the room. So this guy calls and says meet me out front for the food. I go out the door and I am standing in the cold for 10 minutes while this guy goes the other way and delivers the food to the room and the rest of the family is eating while I am looking like a tard in the parking lot. I get respect.


The last story I can remember right now is our journey from the historic city to the hotel. I had directions from Google and we are set. We get to within the last couple turns and end up going to a gated community. This isn't a gated community with a guard. It just has a bar blocking the way with a keypad and scanner. So
we pull up and the gate doesn't move. We hit the button for the security and they say the hotel isn't in here and to go away. OK. That is fine except there are now 10 cars behind us trying to get home from work. The wife is driving and getting pissed at me of course. So she hits the buzzer again and informs the lady that there is a backup and she can't go back. The lady informs her that there might be a million cars back there but that gate ain't going up for us. She then realizes our plight and says that the elite of the neighborhood are used to the riffraff attempting to get in so they will back up when they see our reverse lights on. Sure enough, a six ton vehicle backing up on a tiny little BMW will get all kinds of backing up happening.
A finally got us to the crib but the wife was just a teeny bit bitter.

In the last news of the day, it has happened. The world has begun the final chapter. All humanity will forever be altered. In other words, congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Lumpy on the birth of their first spawn. Fortunately the kid might be all right. Supposedly, he screams bloody murder any time he sees Mr. Lumpy or hears his voice. Good kid. Good luck.