Game Seven

Earlier this week I took my oldest to see the Caps for his birthday. It just happened to be Game 7 of the first round of the playoffs. Here are a few pictures from the night.

Car Update

Nosaj's car has been found. It was returned to a nice deserted house in town. Well, most of it was returned. They are still missing an engine, seats, wheels, rims and a gear shift. It was also without all the crap they had in there like a car seat, gps, and cheese. OK. There really wasn't any cheese in there, just a cheap Wisconsin joke.

Because they are unable to hold onto their vehicles, I have been forced to furnish a ride for them. Nosaj wanted to visit his crazy Wisconsin relatives at the beach last week and for some reason his wife wanted to go back to the scene of the crime. So I lent them my car. Just for the record, in case it also gets stolen, I keep my entire cd collection, two computers, a gps, 1000GB iPod and an iPhone in my car. It just happens that I had twelve thousand five hundred dollars in there too. I wanted to put that out there, just in case. Oh and expensive golf clubs too.

On a more important note, the Jiggy has now turned 40. I know, I know, I don't look a day over 39 1/2, I know. But it is true. For my birthday I got the privilege of taking my family to the park for the afternoon. Now some of you might have wanted to have a relaxing day of naps, or a bushel of crabs for lunch. Not me. I wanted to drive up 95 in traffic and go to a park and use public toilets. I got my wish.

Easter Pics

Here are some Easter pictures finally.

Tips Hotline

Thanks for all the tips I have been receiving about the missing car. To make it a little easier, I have attached a picture of the license plate. Please keep those calls coming in.

Birthday Party / Mini Cornhole Tournament

A few weekends back, we had a birthday party for one of many hundreds of kids. The wife wanted it to be a tea party kind of affair. As you can see from the picture, she had the room set up all festive.




However, I saw it as an opportunity to play a little cornhole. And as you can see from the pictures below, we managed to get in a few games despite the crazy wind bursts. Nosaj and my son combined to be the big winners. This was overshadowed by the fact that some people cannot socially drink and ended up urinating in my yard while dozens of children played nearby. I will not mention any names on here as it might embarrass them. I doubt it though, since getting drunk and marauding through my yard like a hippie on LSD didn't seem to embarrass them.






Finally we have a picture of the birthday girl after a long afternoon of partying.



I am still waiting on Nosaj to hook me with pictures he took of the unmentioned peeman hiding behind a bush and a picture of the new Washington Capitals boards he made. Although he might be a little busy looking for his car since somebody stole it yesterday. If you happen to see a purplish/blue Acura Integra, please call Nosaj.

What time is it? Tennis time.

The days are getting warmer and I am getting fatter. That combination can only mean one thing. It is time to start playing tennis again. I need to lose about 20-30 pounds because I cannot stop eating. I gave up sweets for Lent and I just compensated by eating more other stuff. But I was dealt a setback when I learned that E-bone bought his son a new racket for his birthday. Now E-bone has stolen the three day old racket and will be using that for tennis. I might have to step up my game and get something besides my trusty $10 Sports Authority special. Almost everyone will be back this year and a new player or two. We did lose one hard court specialist as he has relocated. Rumors are flying that he took all his profits from up north and headed to the Sunbelt and is opening a smoothie joint. Honestly, would you buy anything, much less a smoothie, from this man??

The lost weekend

I know I have some catching up to do, but I still haven't downloaded the pictures from the third birthday party a couple weeks ago. So I will just update you on the last week. Over the weekend, I had planned on going out of town for work. I blew off a conrhole tournament that I was sure to win just to spend time with the kids. And on Sunday when I was supposed to leave, I let the wife make all kinds of plans. The day was so full it was ridiculous. But I didn't care because I was going to be on a plane out of Dodge. But people didn't do what they said they would and the business trip fell through. I was stuck going to all the functions I would have been escaping. We hit three birthday parties, all without alcohol. This lack of alcohol is something my inlaws will have to get used to after my last party, but I will talk about that when I get the pictures up.

The dog is remarkably still alive. She managed to eat part of my grill cover and then chewed up my ignitor. So we moved the grill off the back porch and I will be doing Ghetto grilling from the yard. Doesn't anyone want a beautiful, wonderful dog?? Cheap.

I don't think I mentioned on here that somebody stole my credit card information and went on a shopping spree at Walmart. Well they did. So I tried to use my card to get some furniture and got declined. You know that always makes you feel so nice when you are told your card is no good. Cheap ass. I had to file a police report and the cops had to come out to take the information. I didn't tell the kids that the officer was coming so they all come running to me when he arrives, all freaked out. I use the fear of police officers as a deterrent to kids unstrapping seat belts in the car so you can understand their fears. It is always good to keep them on their toes.

Oh since we got new furniture, I had to unload the old sectional. I turned to trusty old Craigslist and Mr. Craig did not let me down. I had people beating down the door to buy it. Ain't America great?

Mistake on the Lake

I just got back from Cleveland. Great city. Just too damn cold. They couldn't have sent me there in the summer or fall??? I did very little sight seeing since it was winter and, did I mention, cold? I saw the baseball stadium and the hoops arena and a huge poster of Lebron. Wonder what they will do with that when he leaves town too.

I also found a great deli close to where I was that had a monstrous Stromboli. Just what my waistline needed.

Oh, I almost forgot. It is supposed to be a huge cornhole playing area. I looked up a restaurant that supposedly had it and I went in, only to have the entire redneck bar stop their conversation and stare at me. I looked around, saw no cornhole boards and left without saying a word to anyone. Talk about out of place.
And you can also see my ghetto cooler.

Next time I have to get a hotel with a fridge.

Waterpark and New Shoes

This week was a busy one. We got the stove working again. No more crock pot meals for a while. Monday I took the family to an indoor waterpark. I think all the kids had a good time. They must have because I was beatdown tired. I don't think I could walk any more steps after going up to the water tubes about a dozen times. I also don't think there are any other men in the entire state besides me that do not have tattoos. The economy obviously hasn't hurt tattoo artists. They are staying busy.

Then yesterday the wife and kids were at Chick Fil A. They have a play area there. The kids were playing and then some woman stole one of my kids shoes. Now that might sound outrageous but it started a little simpler. She mistakenly took my kids shoes which were the same brand and similar size as her kids shoes. My wife and mother-in-law tried to reason with the woman but she got all ignorant and wouldn't choke up the shoes. They offered to compare the shoes together. No dice. So they threatened to call the cops and she got all friendly. No, actually she went into the bathroom with the shoes and wouldn't come out. Nice. So the wife took the other shoes and went home defeated. Mother-in-law hung out for a while to try to get the ladys license plate number but she wouldn't come out of the shitter. So the ironic part was our new shoes are actually bigger than the old ones. So now that winch is home trying to jam her kids foot into the smaller shoe. Life sucks sometimes.

TV Dinners

I have an excuse for my lack of blogging. I am lazy. OK.

Now in my defense there has been a little going on lately. I had to work at home for a couple of weeks and I was real busy and the kids were driving me crazy. AND the stove broke. It broke a week ago and the soonest someone could look at it was over the weekend. That is about all he did, look at it. He told me it was installed sloppily and a wire came loose and burned up some other wire. Who knows. All I know is I paid someone to install the damn thing a few years ago and it is under warranty. All he knew was he had to order parts and I was gonna be eating microwave food for another week and a half.

So we have been eating out and eating crockpot meals and ordering Dominos and grilling out and hauling food to the inlaws to cook it. It sucks no matter how you break it down. The wife tried to use it as a sign of God that she shouldn't be cooking. I said God wouldn't want you to be single again so I am sure that is not what he had in mind.

Imagine your dream scenario, working from home. No commute, no headaches. Then imagine a dog, cat and seven kids are there to help you. I am getting so much more done now that I am back at the office. I enjoyed eating lunch with the kids each day and not waking up at the crack of midnite, but there is not a big enough lock to keep those monsters away from me.

The biggest new thing is the Wii Fit. We have been playing that for a few weeks now. The kids absolutely love to watch me do the hula hoop. They have gone so far as to pull out the video camera. The wife got something like 280 spins and one of the kids 290. My first attempt 2. Not two hundred, not even twenty two. TWO. I think a no legged man would give me a run for my money in this game. I was able to follow that turn up with another TWO. Needless to say I won't be joining the National team.