I know it has been over a week since my last entry. I have been busy with school. Here is a quick story I could not keep from you. I will try to get some new pics up soon. I got a new phone that has a camera. Welcome to the 19th century for me. I read a review of the phone online, talking about how new and cool it is. Then I saw the article was dated 2004. NICE. Always on the cutting edge. Now on to the story.
As many of you know, Lumpy isn't the most sanitary of people. He has told us of stories of crapping himself, crapping in his buddy's cat box at a party, crapping in his snow suit, and swimming through a river of crap in Thailand. So this is only karma coming back at him.
Last week the Lumpster took his family from the frozen tundra of the midwest to the beautiful sunny west coast. Him, Mrs. Lumpy and the little Lump took a couple flights out to Cali. On one such flight, Little Lump (LL) is giggling and waving at people as they board, then as they sit and then as they try to sleep. Big Lump (BL) has LL on his shoulder and he is just grinning and hollering. So the guy behind him taps him on the arm. Their conversation is below.
Guy - Hey buddy.
BL - Yes, pal?
Guy - Nice kid.
BL - Thanks, comrade.
Guy - You gots a wipe or something?
BL - Wipe?
Guy - You know, a baby wipe so I can wipe his puke off my pants.
BL - OH MY. I am so sorry. Let me get you a drink.
Guy - No problem. It will be worth it just to watch you wipe all the puke off your back.
BL - OH MY.
So on the flight back. LL is struggling to take a dump. Not like BL hasn't experienced this before. He just runs his happy ass to the store for some ColonBlow 2000. Well the kid is little so he hooks LL with some prune juice. PRUNE JUICE?? First time fathers. So as they land, BL picks up LL off his lap and realizes that junior put a new meaning into the term soiled. Like all of LL's outfit and most of BL's pants. Try playing that off while getting off the plane.
Stewardess - Nice flight?
BL - Why yes. We had.....
Stewardess - AHHHH. Sir, you have shit all over your pants.
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