He Can't Drive 55

I am not sure if I mentioned this before or not, but the Human Tumor can't drive 55. Let me take you back a month or so ago. So as he tells the story, he was driving on a two lane road and the guy in front of him is going slow. He makes the move to pass and the guy speeds up. He speeds up more and the guy speeds up more. They are going down hill. He speeds up more and is finally able to get in front of this other guy. And guess what? There is a cop at the bottom of the hill. So he is given a ticket for 88/50. That is a whopping 38 miles over the speed limit. I guess he won't be paying that ticket through the mail.

Yesterday was court day. Tumor shows up but the cop doesn't. Alright the Tumor is free. NOPE. The prosecutor asks for a continuance. Tumor asks about dropping the ticket since the cop is a no-show. He is told to ask the prosecutor in the hall. This is a transcript of the conversation.

Human Tumor (HT): I thought you guys dropped the ticket if the officer didn't show up?

Prosecutor (P): Let me see the summons.

HT: Here you go.

P: (Stiffling laughter) 38 over? We won't be dropping this.

HT: Any chance you can reduce the charges?

P: This is a take your license away kind of ticket, not a reducing kind of ticket.

HT: OhhhhhK. SO there is no chance you can lower it?

P: I could take your license or look at jail time for this offense.

HT: Hold on a sec. You can't do anything for me?

P: I tell you what I will do. You pay the $250 fine, the court costs and the $1000 extra fee and I won't go after your license.

HT: OK. Sold.

So the Tumor goes back in to court like a lost little puppy, pleads out and pays $650 bucks on the spot. He also gets the bonus of paying $300 a year for the next two years. Slow down Tumor, slow down. Or you could read some of these excuses that got people off.