Take, take another little piece of my heart

First here is a little sample of the great food you missed out on if you weren't at my house this weekend.




Now here is a picture of the newest addition to my family. I came home today to find a furry new friend. I guess I was kind of vague when I said 'No more pets'. So now we have a guinea pig. I am so glad I wear the pants in this family.

Silence

At 9:04 P.M. on Saturday evening, I heard nothing. All the kids were in bed, the wife was busy checking her mail and I had the t.v. on mute. No sound. No disturbance. Now let me take you back about six hours before that. It was a party for my four year old and it was in full swing. Now we have had decent size get-togethers at my house. How can you not have many people when just my family is already party sized. But this was bigger. We even bussed a couple people in from Florida just to make sure we had enough. I think the total was 52, give or take a few, most of which were children. At one time, my mother attempted to count them all and gave up. There were just too many in too many places. They were in the woods, on the trampoline, in the driveway, in the playroom, in bedrooms, in the kitchen. Oh my were they in the kitchen. You would have thought it was feeding day at the zoo. These monsters were attacking anything that looked like a chip. I am almost positive, somebody lost a finger. By the time, I got to grilling for the herd, it had thinned. I think were back into the thirty something range. Of course, the Weber held up and provided an awesome meal. The father-in-law complained. That's what he does.

And in a surprise move, Coors Lite made an appearance at the crib. I went out and got cases of Yuengling and New Castle and even a little PBR for the Wisconsin natives. But one guy couldn't drink any of those. He was new to the house and I didn't want rumors getting out that Jiggy didn't provide beer. I couldn't stand to see him not drinking. So my father was nice enough to cruise out and snag some Rocky Mountain liquid gold for the man. Another satisfied partier at the Jiggy house.

Funny, Funny Stuff

I almost feel bad about posting this video since I didn't get any harassing phone calls from either Lumpy or Nosaj when the Pack beat the Skins. But still, this is pretty funny. And haven't we all wanted to do this to a Packers fan at some point. Now I have a plan for Turkey day at Nosaj's house.



Come on, that was funny wasn't it.

Not Tiger Woods

I was reminded again this weekend why I don't golf. My father wanted to take my son out on the links so I joined them. I hit my usually array of bad shots, most of them resulting in losing the ball. Or me looking for the ball in tall grass, or woods, or tall grass in woods. I did have one good hole. On the second hole, I hit 3-wood (I don't use the driver much because I hook it much more than the 3-wood) and then 7-wood. That put me a little short of the elevated green. I punched up with an 8-iron and walked over to the cart to get my putter. I joined the other three on the green. There was only three balls and they were all lining up putts. I surveyed the situation and couldn't figure out how mine had flown the green. It hadn't. I sauntered up to the hole to pull the flag and just check. It was there and the ball line was still visible in the dew on the green. So I start hollering and screaming in my dad's backswing. Needless to say, that was the apex of my game and it was all downhill after that.

I also got a math lesson too. There was a twosome in front of us. They consisted of people you might know so I will disguise their names. So Fatherinlawowicz smacks his tee shot a whopping 20 yards. This is followed by Nosajious cranking out about 400 yards, most of it sideways into some fenced in yard. Fatherinlawowicz knocks his next shot most clearly out of bounds to the left. The hole is a dog leg right. Nosajious hits the next shot into the same marshy area to the left. After that we lost track of thier game due to taking our own shots. But somehow they were both able to get up and down from about 200 yards away for birdies or pars. I mean Nosajious was hitting four if he even found his ball, which is a long shot, but who am I to judge.

He Can't Drive 55

I am not sure if I mentioned this before or not, but the Human Tumor can't drive 55. Let me take you back a month or so ago. So as he tells the story, he was driving on a two lane road and the guy in front of him is going slow. He makes the move to pass and the guy speeds up. He speeds up more and the guy speeds up more. They are going down hill. He speeds up more and is finally able to get in front of this other guy. And guess what? There is a cop at the bottom of the hill. So he is given a ticket for 88/50. That is a whopping 38 miles over the speed limit. I guess he won't be paying that ticket through the mail.

Yesterday was court day. Tumor shows up but the cop doesn't. Alright the Tumor is free. NOPE. The prosecutor asks for a continuance. Tumor asks about dropping the ticket since the cop is a no-show. He is told to ask the prosecutor in the hall. This is a transcript of the conversation.

Human Tumor (HT): I thought you guys dropped the ticket if the officer didn't show up?

Prosecutor (P): Let me see the summons.

HT: Here you go.

P: (Stiffling laughter) 38 over? We won't be dropping this.

HT: Any chance you can reduce the charges?

P: This is a take your license away kind of ticket, not a reducing kind of ticket.

HT: OhhhhhK. SO there is no chance you can lower it?

P: I could take your license or look at jail time for this offense.

HT: Hold on a sec. You can't do anything for me?

P: I tell you what I will do. You pay the $250 fine, the court costs and the $1000 extra fee and I won't go after your license.

HT: OK. Sold.

So the Tumor goes back in to court like a lost little puppy, pleads out and pays $650 bucks on the spot. He also gets the bonus of paying $300 a year for the next two years. Slow down Tumor, slow down. Or you could read some of these excuses that got people off.

Catching up with Vacation Pics

Here are some pictures of my recent vacation. I finally got them online. A week with the inlaws and surprisingly no deaths or injuries.





Zoom in for a great view of my Great Pyramid standing alone on the beach. This caused several duplicate attempts by others all along the beach. None compared.







This is the local lighthouse. Nosaj climbed it but we couldn't get him to jump. Wuss.




Nosaj got jealous of the Great Pyramid and began work on this baby turtle.








Me and Nosaj at the Bad Bean.








Since everyone else started imitating my Great Pyramid, I built a football stadium.






This is a picture of a partly eaten Bad Bean burrito. And some Mexican beer.





We were surrounded by Pirates. They were everywhere. These particular Pirates were right next door. We had to keep the doors locked so they wouldn't come aboard. Or eat us.



No really. This is a horse's ass, but NOT Nosaj. Sometimes there is a difference.