Busy, Busy

I have been busy at my new job and haven't had time to write much. Here is a video of me hard at work.

Of news and bowel movements on the fly

Yesterday when I wrote the previous post, I was enjoying vacation. Then things moved to a higher plane yesterday. First I caught up on all the news in ten minutes yesterday morning. Here is what I found out.

1. O.J. either really wants to go to jail or he is truly invincible.

2. A dude put a rattlesnake IN his MOUTH and was in a coma for three days.

3. The Human Tumor drove to WISCONSIN to buy a new truck. I guess they were sold out on the east coast.

4. Surprise. Brittany isn't a good mom.

5. According to Isiah Thomas you can call a chick a bitch ONLY if you are black.

Then I got back to reality and had to experience the red flags all day. The red flags that tell us no swimming. That just means spending. So yesterday we saw a wild pony (free) and hit the shops (not free). And of course we went to the same restaurant we go to every year. It still had bad food and bad service but it was bigger and more crowded this year. The family all still complained and it was just as things should be. Then we hit the outlets and I miss all the good stuff. My son comes running to tell me that a disturbance happened in the Polo outlet. While I was dropping coin somewhere else, it seems an elderly gentelmen wanted to shop til he dropped. Dropped a duece out of his pants as he walked through the store. AND KEPT SHOPPING. I can only hope to some day have the coolness of this dude. Below is a picture before the cleanup on aisle 4. And ailse 5. AND Aisle 6. Dude must have visited Bad Bean Burrito before hand. WOW.

Vacation

This was supposed to go out yesterday. Just got busy having so much fun with my inlaws.
So here I am at the beach. So I am busy having fun and I can't write a whole bunch cause it is so much fun. You jealous yet?

Here are some pics of the Great Pyramid I built on our first day. I built it below the hide tide line to prove a point. Pyramids cannot be destroyed. People came from all around to see it. And the kids built a barrier wall in front to stave off the tide. I told them it was powerful enough without it. Sure enough. It is day three and still some of the pyramid remains. The waves are afraid of it.

The troubling thing is people have no respect for great art. They let their dogs and children walk on it. The first night two old people used the barrier wall as a friggin park bench, just taking in the view of the ocean. And yesterday on day two, a guy was fishing from the barrier wall. Now it is not like I am directly in front of public beach access. I am in the middle of a block. So dude had to walk from the corner of the block, walk the beach like five or six houses, and decide to sit his lazy ass on my retaining wall. Probably an illegal anyways. (You like that E?)

Here are some quick pics. Oh, btw, GO SKINS. WOOHOO. How you like that Schweet?

Teach em Early

Just one last football note. How do you ensure you will have decent children? Don't let them be Cowboys fans. How do you do that? See below.

Dear God, I love the Internets

I just can't get enough of the wife working in the evening. Just think, if she was here I probably wouldn't get to watch Monday Night Football AND find my new best friend Eddy J. Check out his web page This especially goes out to Lumpy and Nosaj and their misguided love affair with all things green and cheesy.

Here is EddyJ or is it Lumpy?

Football is Back

I am sitting here watching the Ravens continue to turn the ball over to the Bengals and yet are still winning. Over the weekend, I like all red blooded homo men, participated in a fantasy football league. Fantasy = fake = not real. But everybody is doing it. So I traded Romo and he had a huge game. And I tried to trade McNabb and he had an average game. But the rub there is, I tried to trade him to The Schweet but he chose to trade for Eli Manning. It was a good move considering Eli had a huge numbers game. Oh wait, Eli is hurt for over a month??? Wow. I will be awaiting your call tomorrow Schweet. All this gay talk is just a setup for this video I found. Since I gave you Ebone last week screaming about his Bills, here is Lumpy serenading his MAN. Enjoy.

Mountain Man

It is Monday night and it is late. I want to run through this blog quickly. Here is the weekend. Friday I worked from home and then ran some errands. Nothing too exciting. I finished up my work from home a little early and I called Lumpy. He was also working from home on Friday. His consisted of watching men work at his house. Lumpy is the man.

Saturday was yard work. The yard now looks like a park or nature preserve. It looks sweet. Basically I edged it this time. The neighbor that doesn't like me actually stopped me just to chit-chat. I was surprised. I expected him to attack me but it was all good. I must be rubbing off on him.

Sunday was Church and chilling. I didn't do too much. That was a good thing.

Monday was the holiday. So what does the old lady suggest? Hiking in the mountains. Wow. Didn't see that coming. I was jazzed. No big deal. I just took the kids on two miles by myself a few weeks ago. Not a problem. There is, I realized, a difference between two miles on a battlefield which FLAT and two and a half miles on MOUNTAIN which is STEEP and the difference wasn't the half mile. We walked straight down a mountain to see a waterfall. I expected Niagra when I got there. Then we had to hoof it straight up to get back to the car. I fully was prepared to just lay there on a rock and wait for the rangers. I was beat. The wife and I carried various children for various parts of the trip. They all seemed to have fun though. Except the baby, or as I like to call her, Satan's child. She wouldn't let me carry her to save my life. Save the wife's actually. The poor woman was beat down. And as soon as I tried to grab the little winch, she would scream and carry on and beat me about the head and face. She almost got a first hand look at a quick descent down the side of the mountain. Here are some pics. Enjoy.