This Crazy, Crazy World

Here is what I have learned in the last 24 hours.

First, do not, and I repeat do not ever try to carpool with the Ebone. He understands the principle of carpooling. Yet it is the actually deed that he cannot grasp. You know, the part about actually going to the carpool lot and meeting the other carpool member. Even if you call him the day before, he will supposedly forget.

Next. Today is Ebone's birthday. I know this because his boss came to his desk today and gave him a big hug and a snack. It looked like apple fritters. I say looked like because fatty didn't offer any to me so I just have to guess. Sandwich Artist had the quote of the day when asked what Ebone had eaten today. He said 'Ebone had eaten all morning. That is what he has eaten today'. Fatty.

Ebone might still be the Carpooler of the year but he is no longer the Father of the Year. His escapades of taking his 10 year old sons to Hooters can't touch my new friend. I was at the kids hockey practice last night when FOTY comes over and starts up the conversation. I know he started the conversation because I generally hate people and don't try to talk to them. Anyways, he informs me that he had some bonding time over the summer with his 10 year old kid. He took him cross-country in his rig. I assume he is a trucker. And they had a little three day stop at Sturgis. He encountered lots of naked women or so his father says. He also got to cuss out some other truckers on the radio. Nice. I realized that my son won't be having sleep overs at that kids house.

Next I learned that people are freaks. I really knew this but not to this extend. SteelerFanBoy and Sandwich Artist were talking about past conquests and I was eavesdropping. Because of this, I am not sure exactly who said what but one of them distinctly said that he makes his women ice themselves down so they feel more like a dead chick when he is banging them. Wow. Didn't see that one coming.

This might be the creme de la creme. Doogie informed us that he got to shake his head on his poly appointment. What do I mean? Let me explain. Instead of the mind challenging and physically daunting task of replying Yes or No to a battery of questions, little Doogie nodded his head like a friggin mime. What is that all about? I inquired further. He was allowed to rock his head like it was on a swivel because (hold on for this) because he swallows too much when he answers. Damn I wish I didn't know that.