Carpooling is a great idea. A great idea, that is, if all parties show up on a regular basis. I am not throwing stones because there was this one time that I overslept and missed the assinged carpool time. I just don't let it happen like every time. It is bad enough if someone oversleeps but to go out partying the night before and tell everyone that you will stroll into work at noonish EXCEPT for your ride mate??? Now that is not right. Yesterday, the E-bone had an excuse. He was too fat and lazy to get out of bed. Now that I understand. Have a donut and enjoy the day E-bone. I better not rag him too hard, he has my car today.
Speaking of ragging. I must say I have heard the expression, "Bring your racquet" for months now. Well friends, yesterday I brought my racquet. To the tune of 6-2, 7-5, with a little 6-2 on SteelerFanBoy in between. I am sure it is just an anomoly but maybe I am just super good. Oh and while this drubbing was going on, Captain Redneck was going postal on Mini-Lumby. It was a sight to see. Any cars on the parkway were in danger of getting pelted by DEAD tennis balls. I guess this weeks saying might have to be "Bring your BALLS".
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Small Town
Hawkman works in Raleigh. He is a big hockey fan so he took all the necessary steps to make sure he was able to be a part of the Stanley Cup parade. He didn't camp out but he ventured out almost an entire 30 minutes before the start of the parade and walked the entire block to the parade route. He got this close.
Nothing like rolling up to the parade for the champ of a major sport and getting there 20 minutes early only to be 5 feet away from the parade. Nice.
Look for pics tomorrow of The Schweetness and Sandwich Artist fighting over a female. Hell we are happy that it was a FEMALE and not a MALE. Things are turning up.
Nothing like rolling up to the parade for the champ of a major sport and getting there 20 minutes early only to be 5 feet away from the parade. Nice.
Look for pics tomorrow of The Schweetness and Sandwich Artist fighting over a female. Hell we are happy that it was a FEMALE and not a MALE. Things are turning up.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Weekend Wrap-up
This weekend was pretty busy. Had a birthday dinner for one of my many offspring. Have enough children and almost every weekend has a birthday in it. Add to that having friends with tons of children and every weekend DOES have a birthday in it. Got to love the Sunday parties. Right up there on my list of no-nos.
This Sunday was Father's Day. A nice relaxing day on the couch watching sports and drinking beer and recovering from the breakfast in bed. Only some genius had a bright idea. Let us take the man's only day to himself and schedule a ballet recital at 2pm on the most sacred of days. Didn't matter to this flamer that it was the final day of the US Open. Didn't matter that there was a NASCAR race on or that it was the middle of the World Cup.
This brings me to another quick topic. There was three males in this production. Two were older gents and obviously had made their sexuality decisions long ago. The third I felt sorry for. He was no more than 10 or 12 years old and his parents had railroaded him into this fiasco. He stands no chance in life. His fate is sealed and he doesn't even know it.
The one bright spot besides seeing my little darlings prance around the stage in outfits that cost more than my first car, was to see this little girl about 4 years old. She would do her assinged routine and instead of following the formation of other little 4 year olds to the next prancing spot, would turn tail and run off stage. They would assist her back on stage and she would repeat her routine and then again dash for the comforts behind the curtains. This went on for two or three minutes to the roaring laughter of the audience.
Today also brings sadness. Today is the 20 year anniversary of the death of Len Bias. He was one of my heros and I am still truly saddened by his passing. Fortunately he kept me from ever thinking of trying cocaine and his death turned around the program at Maryland and eventually led to the hiring of Gary Williams.
This Sunday was Father's Day. A nice relaxing day on the couch watching sports and drinking beer and recovering from the breakfast in bed. Only some genius had a bright idea. Let us take the man's only day to himself and schedule a ballet recital at 2pm on the most sacred of days. Didn't matter to this flamer that it was the final day of the US Open. Didn't matter that there was a NASCAR race on or that it was the middle of the World Cup.
This brings me to another quick topic. There was three males in this production. Two were older gents and obviously had made their sexuality decisions long ago. The third I felt sorry for. He was no more than 10 or 12 years old and his parents had railroaded him into this fiasco. He stands no chance in life. His fate is sealed and he doesn't even know it.
The one bright spot besides seeing my little darlings prance around the stage in outfits that cost more than my first car, was to see this little girl about 4 years old. She would do her assinged routine and instead of following the formation of other little 4 year olds to the next prancing spot, would turn tail and run off stage. They would assist her back on stage and she would repeat her routine and then again dash for the comforts behind the curtains. This went on for two or three minutes to the roaring laughter of the audience.
Today also brings sadness. Today is the 20 year anniversary of the death of Len Bias. He was one of my heros and I am still truly saddened by his passing. Fortunately he kept me from ever thinking of trying cocaine and his death turned around the program at Maryland and eventually led to the hiring of Gary Williams.
Friday, June 16, 2006
It's FriiiiiiiiiiiiDay.
To quote a famous Friday saying around the office, "I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do. - Chris Tucker.
Or another one from Office Space, "No. No, of course not. We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week. - John C. McGinley
Keep that last one in mind today Neckbone. Might not have to call July today after all.
Since I have nothing original today, no stories of destruction or mayhem from my brood, I will mention one of my favorite shows. I watched another repeat of The Office last night. That show just cracks me up. I think I might be in love with Pam.
So on a parting note, hopefully Ebone will complete his
deck this weekend and invite us all over for a raging drunkfest. Not like he doesn't have raging drunkfests now, but after the deck, there is more chances of people falling in the pool. Woohoo. Beer and water mix well.
Or another one from Office Space, "No. No, of course not. We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week. - John C. McGinley
Keep that last one in mind today Neckbone. Might not have to call July today after all.
Since I have nothing original today, no stories of destruction or mayhem from my brood, I will mention one of my favorite shows. I watched another repeat of The Office last night. That show just cracks me up. I think I might be in love with Pam.
So on a parting note, hopefully Ebone will complete his
deck this weekend and invite us all over for a raging drunkfest. Not like he doesn't have raging drunkfests now, but after the deck, there is more chances of people falling in the pool. Woohoo. Beer and water mix well.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Stories
I like stories. I like to write them. I like to read them. I especially like when a story makes me laugh. I have a few of them for you today. But first, I have a not-so-funny story.
This story begins yesterday when I went out of my way to contact E-bone. I was interested in carpooling. E-bone was too. The only problem was that between our conversation and the actual pooling of the cars, was that E-bone got drunk again and blew off the ride sharing. Just didn't show up. Didn't bother with the whole unneeded courtesy call. Just slept in. He felt the need to tell his drinking buddies he was sleeping in late, just not his former car pool associate.
The rest of the stories are amusing. Kind of like the amusement I got when I added E-bone's email address to many fetish web sites while he slept in today.
Read this story and try not to laugh. There are some crazy people in this world. I also heard a couple of stories on the radio but they were from last year. I guess I was living in a box when they came out originally. Here is a good one. The story is so old, it is not on CNN anymore, but this site gives commentary in addition to the story. A bonus. The other story turned out to be a fake. It had to do with 42 midgets fighting a lion. It might not be true but midget stories usually make me laugh.
This story begins yesterday when I went out of my way to contact E-bone. I was interested in carpooling. E-bone was too. The only problem was that between our conversation and the actual pooling of the cars, was that E-bone got drunk again and blew off the ride sharing. Just didn't show up. Didn't bother with the whole unneeded courtesy call. Just slept in. He felt the need to tell his drinking buddies he was sleeping in late, just not his former car pool associate.
The rest of the stories are amusing. Kind of like the amusement I got when I added E-bone's email address to many fetish web sites while he slept in today.
Read this story and try not to laugh. There are some crazy people in this world. I also heard a couple of stories on the radio but they were from last year. I guess I was living in a box when they came out originally. Here is a good one. The story is so old, it is not on CNN anymore, but this site gives commentary in addition to the story. A bonus. The other story turned out to be a fake. It had to do with 42 midgets fighting a lion. It might not be true but midget stories usually make me laugh.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Memory Shmemory
So the wife went on to her conference over the weekend. Day one ends and she calls me all out of sorts. Somehow I had forced her to forget to bring a change of clothes for the baby. I must have had some kind of Jedi mind trick working. "Don't take the clothes, Don't take the clothes." It all worked out. She was able to borrow some from another friend that had also left her husband at home with a dozen or so kids and also happened to have a baby. Imagine that. My wife's friends have tons of kids too.
This leads to Sunday. Sunday starts out nice. One of the little guys chooses to get up at 5:30 and decides he needs dad up too. So I hit 7:30 Mass and my day is wide open. The rest of the family hits a later service and then the older rats head over to a friends house to swim. This only leaves a cook-out in the evening. This is where it gets good. We pick up the kids and of course they are not ready. We are running late and manage to show up 30 minutes late. The only problem is we are the first ones there. Now the wife has some notoriously late friends but this is ridiculous. At this rate, I won't get home until midnite. That is when the host comes out and informs us that we aren't 30 minutes late. We are 24 HOURS AND 30 MINUTES LATE. Just a little date confusion. They graciously still invite us in and feed the herd. Turns out that the party sounded kinda good, we just happened by a bit too late. Better luck next time. I am sure I forced her to forget the date too.
******
What is worse than dropping four bills on food at Costco?
Dropping four bills on food at Costco and obviously not getting enough food because you have to stop on the way home and feed the family at Chick-Fil-A.
This leads to Sunday. Sunday starts out nice. One of the little guys chooses to get up at 5:30 and decides he needs dad up too. So I hit 7:30 Mass and my day is wide open. The rest of the family hits a later service and then the older rats head over to a friends house to swim. This only leaves a cook-out in the evening. This is where it gets good. We pick up the kids and of course they are not ready. We are running late and manage to show up 30 minutes late. The only problem is we are the first ones there. Now the wife has some notoriously late friends but this is ridiculous. At this rate, I won't get home until midnite. That is when the host comes out and informs us that we aren't 30 minutes late. We are 24 HOURS AND 30 MINUTES LATE. Just a little date confusion. They graciously still invite us in and feed the herd. Turns out that the party sounded kinda good, we just happened by a bit too late. Better luck next time. I am sure I forced her to forget the date too.
******
What is worse than dropping four bills on food at Costco?
Dropping four bills on food at Costco and obviously not getting enough food because you have to stop on the way home and feed the family at Chick-Fil-A.
Friday, June 09, 2006
GOOOOOOOAL!!
Now I admit that I am one of only 100,000 people that watched the Stanley Cup Finals the other night. But I love hockey. It is the one sport that I can watch any of the teams and enjoy it. I like them all. I just love the game.
Soccer, on the other hand, is not a sport I love. It is so boring. We have the best team in the league since it began with the DC United but I have never been to a game and seldom watch them on tv. But today is different. Today starts the World Cup. It is the greatest sporting event worldwide. I will be watching the matches today. I can enjoy the sport for one month every four years. It is fun watching the upsets and knowing that for some idiot fans it will ruin their lives for four years. That is great television.
The wife has finally smarted up and left me. At least for the weekend. She is off at a conference and has left me with 83.3% of our children. Being the father of the year, I will attempt to take them to a museum today. Wish me luck.
Lumpy called for some clarification yesterday. They were not at a cigar event after all. They were competitors here.
Soccer, on the other hand, is not a sport I love. It is so boring. We have the best team in the league since it began with the DC United but I have never been to a game and seldom watch them on tv. But today is different. Today starts the World Cup. It is the greatest sporting event worldwide. I will be watching the matches today. I can enjoy the sport for one month every four years. It is fun watching the upsets and knowing that for some idiot fans it will ruin their lives for four years. That is great television.
The wife has finally smarted up and left me. At least for the weekend. She is off at a conference and has left me with 83.3% of our children. Being the father of the year, I will attempt to take them to a museum today. Wish me luck.
Lumpy called for some clarification yesterday. They were not at a cigar event after all. They were competitors here.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Back to Business
Hello. I am finally finished with my paper for school. Just like ole Alice Cooper used to say 'School's Out Forever'. It has been a pain but it is now over. Thank goodness. I can now concentrate on more important things, like posting blog entries.
Lumpy has also stayed busy these last couple of months. He has been spotted all over the midwest.
This picture was taken at The Big Smoke in Chicago. Lumpy is on the left next to Dick Butkus. The other two guys are part of the Lumpy Crew. None of them smoke cigars. They thought it was sort of a 'coming out' gathering.
In addition to becoming scholarly, I have taken up tennis. Bird Flu and Mini Les have been talking of their exploits for months now. So me and E-bone and Sandwich Artist took to the courts to check out the skill level. We have suffered some early drubbings but the learning curve is short and within the next couple of meetings, the tables will be turned. Stay tuned for updates. And any donations for lessons for Sandwich Artist would be appreciated. Obviously tennis is just not his thing. We have now learned that tennis is not his game, bowling is not his game. Maybe he has no game.
Lumpy has also stayed busy these last couple of months. He has been spotted all over the midwest.
This picture was taken at The Big Smoke in Chicago. Lumpy is on the left next to Dick Butkus. The other two guys are part of the Lumpy Crew. None of them smoke cigars. They thought it was sort of a 'coming out' gathering.
In addition to becoming scholarly, I have taken up tennis. Bird Flu and Mini Les have been talking of their exploits for months now. So me and E-bone and Sandwich Artist took to the courts to check out the skill level. We have suffered some early drubbings but the learning curve is short and within the next couple of meetings, the tables will be turned. Stay tuned for updates. And any donations for lessons for Sandwich Artist would be appreciated. Obviously tennis is just not his thing. We have now learned that tennis is not his game, bowling is not his game. Maybe he has no game.
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