Memorial Day

I have gotten a little behind in my updates. Here is what I can remember from the last month or so. Memorial Day weekend. Four day weekend. I am excited for some relaxation. Then I get the bomb dropped on me. Some of the homeschool moms are taking the kids to DC to see the Natural History museum on THE FRIDAY BEFORE MEMORIAL DAY. Of course the wife agrees this is a great idea and we are in the mix. The day wasn't too horrible. A group of 20 something riding the metro to the nations capital. Great weather. Then the horrific (and somehow shocking to the women) ride home. Four hours (granted an hour was stopping for dinner) later and we are back home. Awesome. We should do this again next holiday. Here are some pictures.




Fear the Turtle and the fat guy.



I didn't know Uncle Nosaj was coming.



Put the kids to work early.




The big pencil thingie is still there.

Grape Lady

I have been told this is old, way old. However, it is new to me and ohhh so funny. Just know that no actual grapes were harmed in me linking to this video.

She's Baaaaaaaaaaaaaack

As you previously read on my May 7th entry, we got rid of the dog. Just like a bad penny she has returned. Supposedly she was fighting with other dogs and killed a random pet cat. She won't kill mine of course, why help out the Jiggy? So she is back. She seems a little saddened right now. Or sick. Or mad. Something. She is not her usual, attacking, jumping, demonic self. Of course, we tried to put her in the cage overnight and she was back to her whining, drooling, slobbering self real quickly. That much hasn't changed. We are getting a fence put up to replace the fence I took down when my last two dogs died and I vowed never, ever to have another dog. The fencing company must love me.

Tennis started up last week. I will not brag. It just isn't worth it anymore. We did have a surprise superstar come out. Super Mario's previous physical activities resulted in him nearly cutting off his finger with an exacto knife and trying to skip his bag across the road while playing cornhole. There was not any high hopes that he would be a star on the court. He shocked a few players, although he did fall down in the first minute of playing. Good balance.

Love that chicken

Now some of you that read this blog might actually have jobs and were not able to watch Oprah. Well she is hooking up with KFC and offering a free two-piece grilled chicken meal. Just print off a coupon and get your free chicken. I can attest that it works. I got a free meal today and I got a free meal yesterday. I also have enough coupons printed out to get a free meal each day until the deal ends on May 19th. Sorry if you were unable to print out your coupons. More chicken for me. Hopefully it never gets to be like this situation at Popeyes.





On to other news. The garden starts this weekend. I have borrowed another tiller so we will have two of them out there preparing the earth. Most of the plants have been purchased and are in the living room right now. Just need it to stop raining for a couple hours so I can get them in the ground.


Dog update. The beast has, at least temporarily, found a new home. We had some friends come visit and they were looking for a dog. I was able to accommodate them. This way the kids can still go visit the dog and if she is too crazy, they can always return her. So of course now that she is gone, I am missing her. So don't come around the house asking about the dog and sending the kids into tears you heartless bastards.

Game Seven

Earlier this week I took my oldest to see the Caps for his birthday. It just happened to be Game 7 of the first round of the playoffs. Here are a few pictures from the night.

Car Update

Nosaj's car has been found. It was returned to a nice deserted house in town. Well, most of it was returned. They are still missing an engine, seats, wheels, rims and a gear shift. It was also without all the crap they had in there like a car seat, gps, and cheese. OK. There really wasn't any cheese in there, just a cheap Wisconsin joke.

Because they are unable to hold onto their vehicles, I have been forced to furnish a ride for them. Nosaj wanted to visit his crazy Wisconsin relatives at the beach last week and for some reason his wife wanted to go back to the scene of the crime. So I lent them my car. Just for the record, in case it also gets stolen, I keep my entire cd collection, two computers, a gps, 1000GB iPod and an iPhone in my car. It just happens that I had twelve thousand five hundred dollars in there too. I wanted to put that out there, just in case. Oh and expensive golf clubs too.

On a more important note, the Jiggy has now turned 40. I know, I know, I don't look a day over 39 1/2, I know. But it is true. For my birthday I got the privilege of taking my family to the park for the afternoon. Now some of you might have wanted to have a relaxing day of naps, or a bushel of crabs for lunch. Not me. I wanted to drive up 95 in traffic and go to a park and use public toilets. I got my wish.

Easter Pics

Here are some Easter pictures finally.

Tips Hotline

Thanks for all the tips I have been receiving about the missing car. To make it a little easier, I have attached a picture of the license plate. Please keep those calls coming in.

Birthday Party / Mini Cornhole Tournament

A few weekends back, we had a birthday party for one of many hundreds of kids. The wife wanted it to be a tea party kind of affair. As you can see from the picture, she had the room set up all festive.




However, I saw it as an opportunity to play a little cornhole. And as you can see from the pictures below, we managed to get in a few games despite the crazy wind bursts. Nosaj and my son combined to be the big winners. This was overshadowed by the fact that some people cannot socially drink and ended up urinating in my yard while dozens of children played nearby. I will not mention any names on here as it might embarrass them. I doubt it though, since getting drunk and marauding through my yard like a hippie on LSD didn't seem to embarrass them.






Finally we have a picture of the birthday girl after a long afternoon of partying.



I am still waiting on Nosaj to hook me with pictures he took of the unmentioned peeman hiding behind a bush and a picture of the new Washington Capitals boards he made. Although he might be a little busy looking for his car since somebody stole it yesterday. If you happen to see a purplish/blue Acura Integra, please call Nosaj.

What time is it? Tennis time.

The days are getting warmer and I am getting fatter. That combination can only mean one thing. It is time to start playing tennis again. I need to lose about 20-30 pounds because I cannot stop eating. I gave up sweets for Lent and I just compensated by eating more other stuff. But I was dealt a setback when I learned that E-bone bought his son a new racket for his birthday. Now E-bone has stolen the three day old racket and will be using that for tennis. I might have to step up my game and get something besides my trusty $10 Sports Authority special. Almost everyone will be back this year and a new player or two. We did lose one hard court specialist as he has relocated. Rumors are flying that he took all his profits from up north and headed to the Sunbelt and is opening a smoothie joint. Honestly, would you buy anything, much less a smoothie, from this man??