Christmas Time

I know I am worthless. I haven't updated this in a month. Would you believe I have been a little busy? So here are some quick Christmasy pictures and stories.

This first one is little Cecilia with her new best friend Brobee. It says stuff when you touch its hand, like 'I'm Brobee dammit.'




This next one is what happens when you let old people touch electronics. The picture is only half as funny when you can't see her holding the digital camera above her head and moving it around trying to get us in the viewfinder.







This is me with my smooooth Ovechkin jersey.




This is me with my sister and parents. I am the fat guy on the right, as opposed to the fat guy in the red.





This is the rough draft of our Christmas card. If you got a card, you will notice the diaper rack and other useless items have been removed. I guess I could have just moved them before I took the picture but then how would SteelerFanBoy practice his Photoshop skills?

The Power of the Blog

Sometimes things just turn out well. And I am not talking about my fine post-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving. Although that was delicious. I didn't even make potatoes. How about that.

No, I am talking about the fear of bad publicity. Just yesterday my sister had a birthday party for her son. He turned one. What was her biggest fear on party day? That no one would show? No. That someone would spill something on the carpet? No. Her biggest fear was a bad writeup in the blog. She couldn't have family and friends reading about no food or subpar beer.

I have to give her credit for a fine showing. Plenty of food. Actually had some leftover ham and turkey thrown in. She even showed me some leftover potatoes she had in the fridge. They had more leftovers than I got offered on Turkey day. And plenty of beer was flowing. Good work sis. She supposedly has pictures of the food. I will post if I get them.

Updated Baby Pics

Here are a couple new pics of the baby. The first one where it looks like she is smiling. It is either her knowing that she has an awesomely cool dad OR she has gas. The second is her sleeping. Obviously that one was not taken between 3 and 7 AM on any day I have been home this week.

Drastic Measures

This is what it has come to. I have been craving turkey ever since the Thanksgiving Day debacle. (See below) So I had to take matters into my own hands. I will be having a little mini bird party tonight at my house. AND there will be enough potatoes for everyone. See, one of the bad things about not hosting Turkey Day is no leftovers. Problem solved. Fresh bird from Bloom and now I have turkey sandwiches and turkey soup. MMMMMMM. Turkey.

Day of the Bird

You know how there are a couple of days you look forward to during the year? Christmas, The Superbowl, your birthday and Thanksgiving. Well I might have to cross off the day of thanks from my list. We celebrate the day at Nosaj's house. This year was a little subpar.

First I get the call that Nosaj has provided a weak imitation of beer for the festivities. Just because he has no taste buds, does not mean I want to drink Miller Lite. You can see one of them in the picture of the sweet potatoes.



Just wait till he sees what the guest beer is at Christmas. It will be something from the other end of the beer shelf at the grocery store. Not the end where they have real beers. More like a Schmidts or a Red, White and Blue. Stay tuned for that.

So back at the big turkey day. We are told that we will be eating at 4. So I get my green bean casserole prepared and I take it Nosaj's house to cook. We arrive at 3 and now dinner is at 3. Guess what. The green beans aint ready. So then we see the potatoes. Keep in mind there are 15 people here. It looks like granny brought enough potatoes for herself. I have seen more spuds in a small side from KFC.




Then we see what was supposed to be stuffing. It seemed to have more of a stuffing soup consistency.


So, on the up side, at least I didn't ruin my diet with all the food. Maybe that was the plan. Thin me out by starving me. So then we went outside and played some bags. It was Nosaj's kind of weather. Cold. You know Syrians don't do well in the cold. The highlight of the afternoon/evening was Nosaj throwing the fourth ringer in a row and start his premature dance as I tossed my fourth in a row right on top, cancelling out his points. Needless to say, I did a little victory dance in the street. I don't think his neighbors like us much.

Not enough work for SteelerFanBoy?

Obviously SteelerFanBoy needs some extra work. He has too much Photoshop time.

Number 7

Kateri Joseph (still no middle name) was born this morning at 4:40am. She was 6 lbs 14 oz and 19 3/4 inches long. Here are some pics. Baby and mommy are doing fine. Daddy is unshaven and still in his clothes from yesterday AND very tired. Don't these kids ever want to be born during the day??

Recent Pics

Here are some Halloween, pumpkin patch and apple picking pictures.

Nosaj's boards

Nosaj gets a bum rap on this blog. He is described as lazy and as a mooch. Well, he is both of those things. BUT, he can also make some nice boards. I will post pictures of my free Redskins boards when he is done with them.

Outhouses

This was a weekend of outhouses I suppose. Friday I dropped the wife and kids off at a park with their friends and I went and got a haircut. Then I had the major decision to make, go back and play with the kids or shop for a while until they were done. Surprisingly I went back to the park. Silly me. I was being goalie and playing soccer with a bunch of kids when I made an awesome save. Unfortunately the County provided goals were suspect and the friggin crossbar fell on the back of my neck. Well this hundred pound steel pole staggered me until I realized what it was. I managed to pull it off my spine and jam it back into place. So I gimped over to the wife and told her I was ready to go. A night with the heating pad and I seemed to be back to normal.

Also at the park, all of you that were worried about me sheltering my kids by homeschooling them would have finally been justified. One of my little darling daughters went into the County provided Portajohn. After finishing her business, she washed her hands with the soap. That ain't soap. Urinal cake maybe, not soap. After half a bottle of antibacterial hand soap, she was as good as new. See by having a job and being a little high maintenance myself, I have sheltered my children. I have sheltered them from using portable toilets and thus have scarred her little soul. Or at least given me the creeps. Needless to say, I wore those hands out with the soap at bath time.

So Saturday I spent making my yard look like a park again. Cutting grass (actually the boy did that) and weed eating, picking weeds and crab grass, trimming bushes and shrubs and taking stuff to the dump. AND waiting for Nosaj to come home from visiting relatives at the zoo. He bragged about his super, duper, greatest ever, new boards. He decided it was best not to play against me and waited until dark to come home. Weak.

Then Sunday brought apple picking. I drove the brood further out into the country past many orchards to get to the very one that 100,000,000,000 other people decided to go to. So went with our friends that own a farm. Once I spent two hundred dollars on fast food for a picnic out there and navigate the mountain and setup camp and steal a couple picking poles, ole farmer tells me he can get us apples real cheap by the bushel. So I am here for what, exactly?? Oh the experience. The experience fell during a Redskin game people. Is this not America?

My second outhouse experience came as we were heading back home. All the kids had to go potty before we left. My same little princess didn't want to go into the portajohn. See she is scarred. So I help her out. I go in with her, line the toilet with some toilet paper and tell her to do her business. She says there are too many bugs in there. I smack a couple nasty, juicy bugs dead and then she still won't go. Then after some gentle encouraging by me, she starts crying. Finally I make the call that this particular child will just have to piss herself in the car on the way home. I escaped the death pod and used up whatever was left in our car bottle of antibacterial. All during a Redskin game.