Car Update

Nosaj's car has been found. It was returned to a nice deserted house in town. Well, most of it was returned. They are still missing an engine, seats, wheels, rims and a gear shift. It was also without all the crap they had in there like a car seat, gps, and cheese. OK. There really wasn't any cheese in there, just a cheap Wisconsin joke.

Because they are unable to hold onto their vehicles, I have been forced to furnish a ride for them. Nosaj wanted to visit his crazy Wisconsin relatives at the beach last week and for some reason his wife wanted to go back to the scene of the crime. So I lent them my car. Just for the record, in case it also gets stolen, I keep my entire cd collection, two computers, a gps, 1000GB iPod and an iPhone in my car. It just happens that I had twelve thousand five hundred dollars in there too. I wanted to put that out there, just in case. Oh and expensive golf clubs too.

On a more important note, the Jiggy has now turned 40. I know, I know, I don't look a day over 39 1/2, I know. But it is true. For my birthday I got the privilege of taking my family to the park for the afternoon. Now some of you might have wanted to have a relaxing day of naps, or a bushel of crabs for lunch. Not me. I wanted to drive up 95 in traffic and go to a park and use public toilets. I got my wish.

Easter Pics

Here are some Easter pictures finally.

Tips Hotline

Thanks for all the tips I have been receiving about the missing car. To make it a little easier, I have attached a picture of the license plate. Please keep those calls coming in.

Birthday Party / Mini Cornhole Tournament

A few weekends back, we had a birthday party for one of many hundreds of kids. The wife wanted it to be a tea party kind of affair. As you can see from the picture, she had the room set up all festive.




However, I saw it as an opportunity to play a little cornhole. And as you can see from the pictures below, we managed to get in a few games despite the crazy wind bursts. Nosaj and my son combined to be the big winners. This was overshadowed by the fact that some people cannot socially drink and ended up urinating in my yard while dozens of children played nearby. I will not mention any names on here as it might embarrass them. I doubt it though, since getting drunk and marauding through my yard like a hippie on LSD didn't seem to embarrass them.






Finally we have a picture of the birthday girl after a long afternoon of partying.



I am still waiting on Nosaj to hook me with pictures he took of the unmentioned peeman hiding behind a bush and a picture of the new Washington Capitals boards he made. Although he might be a little busy looking for his car since somebody stole it yesterday. If you happen to see a purplish/blue Acura Integra, please call Nosaj.

What time is it? Tennis time.

The days are getting warmer and I am getting fatter. That combination can only mean one thing. It is time to start playing tennis again. I need to lose about 20-30 pounds because I cannot stop eating. I gave up sweets for Lent and I just compensated by eating more other stuff. But I was dealt a setback when I learned that E-bone bought his son a new racket for his birthday. Now E-bone has stolen the three day old racket and will be using that for tennis. I might have to step up my game and get something besides my trusty $10 Sports Authority special. Almost everyone will be back this year and a new player or two. We did lose one hard court specialist as he has relocated. Rumors are flying that he took all his profits from up north and headed to the Sunbelt and is opening a smoothie joint. Honestly, would you buy anything, much less a smoothie, from this man??

The lost weekend

I know I have some catching up to do, but I still haven't downloaded the pictures from the third birthday party a couple weeks ago. So I will just update you on the last week. Over the weekend, I had planned on going out of town for work. I blew off a conrhole tournament that I was sure to win just to spend time with the kids. And on Sunday when I was supposed to leave, I let the wife make all kinds of plans. The day was so full it was ridiculous. But I didn't care because I was going to be on a plane out of Dodge. But people didn't do what they said they would and the business trip fell through. I was stuck going to all the functions I would have been escaping. We hit three birthday parties, all without alcohol. This lack of alcohol is something my inlaws will have to get used to after my last party, but I will talk about that when I get the pictures up.

The dog is remarkably still alive. She managed to eat part of my grill cover and then chewed up my ignitor. So we moved the grill off the back porch and I will be doing Ghetto grilling from the yard. Doesn't anyone want a beautiful, wonderful dog?? Cheap.

I don't think I mentioned on here that somebody stole my credit card information and went on a shopping spree at Walmart. Well they did. So I tried to use my card to get some furniture and got declined. You know that always makes you feel so nice when you are told your card is no good. Cheap ass. I had to file a police report and the cops had to come out to take the information. I didn't tell the kids that the officer was coming so they all come running to me when he arrives, all freaked out. I use the fear of police officers as a deterrent to kids unstrapping seat belts in the car so you can understand their fears. It is always good to keep them on their toes.

Oh since we got new furniture, I had to unload the old sectional. I turned to trusty old Craigslist and Mr. Craig did not let me down. I had people beating down the door to buy it. Ain't America great?