I need to take you back a little bit. Back before I had 100 kids, I had 100 roommates. There was always some randoms moving in and out of my townhouse. Some paid rent, some didn't. One particular one has hit the big time now. Here is a video of a lady you all know. When they get to her significant other, that is my old roommate.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
A month
I know, I know. It has been weeks since I last updated all of you. Would you believe I have been a little busy? Let me try to update you on what I can remember from the last month.
First of all, some of you know, some of you don’t, but I am sure you all suspected that the wife is pregnant again. I guess six little demons was not enough. So come December we will have number seven. Donations are always being accepted.
I am being evicted from my cushy commute and being thrown back into the big city. One good thing is I will be carpooling with the Ebone again. One huge bad thing is I won’t be sleeping in until 6am every day. I like Ebone and all, but damn, sleeping late is soooooo nice.
The garden is doing marvelously this year. The kids pulled more cucumbers yesterday than we got all last year. And the tomatoes are growing like crazy now too. We have corn, beans, hot peppers, onions, potatoes, cabbage, lettuce, okra, carrots and watermelons all doing nicely. I just can’t get green peppers to grow to save my life. Oh and friggin cilantro won’t do crap for me either. I planted pumpkins a week or so ago which I heard is still late but about a month earlier than I planted them last year. So instead of small jack-o-lanterns we might have medium jacks this year.
Bags or cornhole has been going well. On the Fourth of July I put the super beat down on every one. But then the other day Nosaj came over to my crib and put the beat down on me. Now there is a Beach Week challenge. Nosaj is bringing some random family with him to the beach this year. The dude, we will call him Corey, is going to be Nosaj’s teammate and I will have the father-in-law weighing down my team. I won’t say the father-in-law is holding me down but my back usually hurts after the game from carrying his ass.
The mutt is surprisingly still alive. She had been good for a while. She got out on the Fourth of July night. It was my fault. I was a little tipsy when I took her out and she managed to escape. I was tired so she spent the night running around the neighborhood. I woke up at 4am and let her back in. Then she went almost a week without escaping. Until Sunday morning when I had to track her down before church. She was just hanging with my worthless neighbor who couldn’t seem to be bothered enough to grab her. I chased her in my car to the neighborhood pool and then she chased my car back home. Oh how it would have been understandable if I somehow just clipped her with my bumper. But no. Then yesterday she bolted again. Unfortunately she keeps coming back.
I switched over to satellite tv from cable. Comcast kept screwing me so I had to finally cut them loose. I did keep their Internet service since I don’t want to change my email address AND they matched the Verizon DSL price. So now if you need to see an out of market football game, come on over. For just a nominal fee, I am sure I can hook you up.
I can’t really remember anything amazingly stupid that the kids have done. I get the every day color yourself with markers. Or the constant messy rooms. The most annoying thing recently is the fact that the youngest can open up the fridge by herself. She is ALWAYS getting in there and just helping herself to snacks. Her big thing is yogurt. It is like her pacifier. She falls down she starts hollering Yobaby. She wakes up in the morning and the first thing she wants is Yobaby. She craps bricks from all the dairy. I told the wife to stop buying the yogurt so she would stay out of the damn fridge.
Lastly, they opened up the neighborhood pool I will never be swimming in. And we are on the waiting list to join some other pool too. Although, I don’t plan on ever swimming in that pool either. I just humor the old lady by letting her put our name on the waiting list. She has taken the kids there three times this year and TWICE some other kid has puked in the pool and they had to shut down for like an hour to clean. PUKE. You know what? I will just stick with the in-laws pool. Sure I have to put up them and there is always the chance that Nosaj will be there too, but the pluses outweigh the minuses. Oh I forgot. Public pools equal horrible. I just established that. Now imagine me at a public lake. EWWW. We went for a picnic last week at the local state park. I don’t know if I have ever enjoyed a shower more than I did when that trip was over. It is like a public pool with a side order of boat fuel and animal waste and fish waste. I think I need another shower.
First of all, some of you know, some of you don’t, but I am sure you all suspected that the wife is pregnant again. I guess six little demons was not enough. So come December we will have number seven. Donations are always being accepted.
I am being evicted from my cushy commute and being thrown back into the big city. One good thing is I will be carpooling with the Ebone again. One huge bad thing is I won’t be sleeping in until 6am every day. I like Ebone and all, but damn, sleeping late is soooooo nice.
The garden is doing marvelously this year. The kids pulled more cucumbers yesterday than we got all last year. And the tomatoes are growing like crazy now too. We have corn, beans, hot peppers, onions, potatoes, cabbage, lettuce, okra, carrots and watermelons all doing nicely. I just can’t get green peppers to grow to save my life. Oh and friggin cilantro won’t do crap for me either. I planted pumpkins a week or so ago which I heard is still late but about a month earlier than I planted them last year. So instead of small jack-o-lanterns we might have medium jacks this year.
Bags or cornhole has been going well. On the Fourth of July I put the super beat down on every one. But then the other day Nosaj came over to my crib and put the beat down on me. Now there is a Beach Week challenge. Nosaj is bringing some random family with him to the beach this year. The dude, we will call him Corey, is going to be Nosaj’s teammate and I will have the father-in-law weighing down my team. I won’t say the father-in-law is holding me down but my back usually hurts after the game from carrying his ass.
The mutt is surprisingly still alive. She had been good for a while. She got out on the Fourth of July night. It was my fault. I was a little tipsy when I took her out and she managed to escape. I was tired so she spent the night running around the neighborhood. I woke up at 4am and let her back in. Then she went almost a week without escaping. Until Sunday morning when I had to track her down before church. She was just hanging with my worthless neighbor who couldn’t seem to be bothered enough to grab her. I chased her in my car to the neighborhood pool and then she chased my car back home. Oh how it would have been understandable if I somehow just clipped her with my bumper. But no. Then yesterday she bolted again. Unfortunately she keeps coming back.
I switched over to satellite tv from cable. Comcast kept screwing me so I had to finally cut them loose. I did keep their Internet service since I don’t want to change my email address AND they matched the Verizon DSL price. So now if you need to see an out of market football game, come on over. For just a nominal fee, I am sure I can hook you up.
I can’t really remember anything amazingly stupid that the kids have done. I get the every day color yourself with markers. Or the constant messy rooms. The most annoying thing recently is the fact that the youngest can open up the fridge by herself. She is ALWAYS getting in there and just helping herself to snacks. Her big thing is yogurt. It is like her pacifier. She falls down she starts hollering Yobaby. She wakes up in the morning and the first thing she wants is Yobaby. She craps bricks from all the dairy. I told the wife to stop buying the yogurt so she would stay out of the damn fridge.
Lastly, they opened up the neighborhood pool I will never be swimming in. And we are on the waiting list to join some other pool too. Although, I don’t plan on ever swimming in that pool either. I just humor the old lady by letting her put our name on the waiting list. She has taken the kids there three times this year and TWICE some other kid has puked in the pool and they had to shut down for like an hour to clean. PUKE. You know what? I will just stick with the in-laws pool. Sure I have to put up them and there is always the chance that Nosaj will be there too, but the pluses outweigh the minuses. Oh I forgot. Public pools equal horrible. I just established that. Now imagine me at a public lake. EWWW. We went for a picnic last week at the local state park. I don’t know if I have ever enjoyed a shower more than I did when that trip was over. It is like a public pool with a side order of boat fuel and animal waste and fish waste. I think I need another shower.
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